microraptor

Doh
When you have so many projects on the go at the same time, you tend to drop the ball on something. I found out at the end of last week that in the rush of all last week’s projects I’d done just that.

When I got the job doing the animations for the ethical investment fund, I produced three alternative design ideas and emailed them all to the client.

She responded telling me which one she wanted and I got going on doing all the modelling and animation and rendering out all the animations needed to produce the final set of videos.

So far so good. When the first animation finished rendering, I was very pleased with it and happily sent it off to the client.

It turns out I’d misunderstood her – she actually wanted to go with the other option….

However, now I’ve done the first one, it looks great, so she’s now not sure whether to go with what I’ve done or get me to start again.

I don’t mind – it’s just that the version I did was much more time consuming than the other option, and I could have done with the time last week!


Anyway…

Monday I managed to polish off another of my monthly newsletters and get at least some way through my latest illustration commission for Nature.

Nothing is real
It’s all go, though and Tuesday was spent at a posh hotel hearing about the new version of 3ds Max courtesey of Autodesk…

Every year, they like to do a press event and it’s always a good opportunity to meet up with some of the other 3d freelance journalists (most of whom are journalist/animators/designers/all kinds of stuff). It’s also a good opportunity to hear from people who use 3d at the cutting edge of effects, animation and games… just to see what’s possible.

This year it included people designing green buildings by measuring the amount of sunlight light that would fall on an office worker’s desk before the building was built to stop them pulling down their blinds and turning on the lights.

There was also an interesting talk from a guy who works for a company servicing Ford motors….

Apparently when you see an advert or read a brochure for a new car, it’s highly unlikely that the photos you’re looking at are actually photos.

Most of the advertising for cars is created before the car is actually built. It costs them 2.5 million to build a prototype for photographing and even then, getting it to a location to photograph it means risking breaching its security – and in the paranoid automotive industry, leaking a car’s bodyshape before its launch is very bad indeed.

So instead, they build a 3d model and create the photos entirely digitally… the guy presented us with 2 pictures – one a real photo and one a CG model…. We couldn’t tell which was which.

I’m guessing this kind of replacement for photography is a lot more common than we think… and it’s probably on the increase.


Today
Today, I’ve been back on my new documentaries – or at least a very small part of them.

I’m designing a microraptor – one of the most bizarre dinosaurs ever to have lived.

The creature has wings on both it’s back and front legs and nobody is quite sure whether it’s a dinosaur or a bird. It clearly is designed to take to the air, though quite how it would have flown and how successfully remains a mystery.

Having roughed out a basic 3d shape and refined it in z-brush, I’m coming to the conclusion that this was a beautiful animal – such an elegant shape. That said, designing it is taking ages - This has to be one of the most challenging 3d models I’ve ever made. The combination of feathers, scales, and colours I’m trying to use means an awful lot of messing around.

I’ve created the basic shape as a solid object, which I’ve painted in z-brush (using some custom made feather brushes I converted from photoshop brushes I found on the net). I’ve then had to make the wing-tips semi-transparent with the shape of feathers – and I’ve had to do that by creating a separate transparency texture in Photoshop. In addition to that, I want the feathers to stand out – so I’ve had to create a bump map as well.

That’s the flight feathers, but there are also downy feathers on the body – and I’m experimenting with doing them as hair. The trouble with that is that hair is increadibly demanding and takes an awfully long time to create on a complex model (like the models produced in z-brush).

Even rendering the hair takes ages and I’ve had to create yet another matte to define which bits of the body need hair and which don’t.

All in all, it’s very time consuming.

However, since lots of dinosaurs apparently have feathers, getting them right is essential to my next documentaries… if I can’t get them to work, I’m going to find the programmes very difficult to make.

New Max
One of the problems is that I’m working on an old version of 3ds max – version 8… primarily because the new version which handles hair a lot better costs about £2500.

And having seen it in action yesterday it’s also got a lot of other features that would be particularly useful to me – the ability to easily animate quadrupeds is definitely one – as is the option of rendering just parts of a shot very quickly to see how they’re going to look…

So what to do?

Well, stand by, because I have a plan….

finishing the book
I finished the book today – or at least the initial version. There are bound to be changes and a few bits to add, but it’s great to get it off my list of current projects for the moment.

The section I left until last was the introduction… it’s much easier to write the intro to something once you’ve done the rest of it – by then you ought to have some idea of what it’s about.

It took a while though because I couldn’t work out what I was trying to say… or maybe it was just because I somehow felt more precious about the last section I wrote – as though the whole book hinged on it – which of course it doesn’t.

When writing’s difficult like that, you just have to work your way through it – get down at least something that’s roughly right – after all, you can change it later, and you’ll have a much better idea of what you need to change once you do.

I sometimes hear other writers talk about writer’s block. I’m not sure I take it too seriously. I think it’s a luxury you only allow yourself if you don’t have a deadline. How many writers on daily newspapers fail to deliver copy because they’re not feeling inspired? Not many… and certainly not twice.

Yes, everybody has bad days and everyone has times when they don’t deliver their best work, but I think it’s a bit self indulgent to simply grind to a halt for days or weeks at a time…

After all – most of the time, when you read back the work you’ve struggled over, it’s just as good as and sometimes better than the work you do when things just flow.

When you find writing difficult, it can be for a few different reasons. Sometimes it’s because you’re worried about the work and just need to get over it. Sometimes it’s because you’re thinking about other things and just need to focus. And sometimes it’s because writing just IS difficult – it requires you to solve problems and work out exactly what you want to say and how you want to say it – in which case, whether you do it now or in six months time, you have to buckle down and solve those probems.

You don’t get to be a writer by talking about writing. You only get to be a writer by writing. When it’s easy. When it’s hard. And when you’re on a deadline, hung over or just bored sick of it.


More pics
Nature got in contact again today – looks like just as I got ahead of myself by completing the book, I’ve got another tight deadline looming….

Still, that’s for next week.

For now, Lisa, George and I are taking a break – we’ve booked into a hotel in Reading and as a big luxury, we’ve got a babysitter to come to the hotel room and look after George on Saturday night.

Today was one of those Front Crawl days – where you take one look at the finish line, dive in and just keep swimming with your head down until you hit the other side.

Late last night, I got an email from a client in America who wanted an animation of a bottle (with a personality) for part of a video for children on recycling. The trouble is, they wanted it by Thursday (and I’m looking after George on Thursday). Adding that to the carbon nanotubes I had to get finished (the animation was rendered overnight) for the documentarymakers who were asking Science Photo Library for them (although whether they’ll be used, I still don’t know), you get a busy day.

Unfortunately, I still also have the book (another two chapters on my list to grab pictures for today) and the animation for the ethical investment fund manager and things begin to look hectic.

By the end of the day, I’m pretty well there on most of it. The book chapters are done (but not posted), the bottle animation is previewed and confirmed with the client – but now needs to be rendered in full size). The fund management animation looks good, but needs a little tweaking - right now the animation (which is quite complex) just starts up all guns blazing immediately. It needs to slow its pace a little to give viewers a chance to get orientated within (pompus phrase coming up) “the world of the story” before everything starts animating all over the place.



That’s a day’s work….

adverts, microraptors and nanotubes

What’s happening with this advert?
We’re getting nearer and nearer the deadline for this advert for Maltese TV and I’m still waiting for the information I need to proceed with making it. I’m really not sure how I’m going to fit it in for the deadline (the end of the month) and I know the person dealing with me has been away, but now it’s getting very tight.

I’m assuming they still want the ad done, but I don’t know.

Of course it’s possible that the end of the month deadline isn’t as firm as I thought it was. Perhaps the conversion of their shops (which is what the advert is about) has fallen behind schedule and they won’t want to start the advertising until everything else is in place.

Still, it’s the uncertainty…whether I’ve got a huge amount to do in the next two weeks, or whether I’ll be able to get on with my own projects…Which include finishing the space travel documentary and starting the new documentaries….


Being a creative freelancer
Being a creative freelancer is different from being (for example) a self employed builder or plumber. If you’re a plumber and nobody offers you any work, you can’t just start plumbing something in the hope someone will buy it when you’ve finished.

If you’re a writer, an animator a graphic designer or a filmmaker, and you’ve got no work, you can at least start working on the projects you want to work on and hope they turn into real paid work somewhere down the line.

However, that itself causes a problem. When you have got work, and deadlines, you have to decide how to get a balance between the work you’ve already been commissioned to do and your own projects.

If you concentrate solely on what you’ve been commissioned to do, the job will stretch out to fill the time you have to do it and you’ll never get any of the projects you want to do off the ground.

On the other hand, if you spend too much time on your own projects – well, they might not get anywhere anyway, and you’ll have lost out on the paid work you could have been doing in the meantime.

My solution is generally to start work on any commissions I get immediately – or as soon as I can. I get them say 75% done or at least to a stage where I can see how I’m going to make them work and there’s at least something there that looks or sounds good.

If it’s writing work, I try to get the right number of words – even if the piece still needs details to be tied down. If it’s graphics or animation, I try to get something that looks right.

I then leave the project if I can – depending on the deadline, I might leave it for a week or two. That way when I go back, I can see it with fresh eyes. I don’t waste time perfecting everything before that because the chances are it will all have to change anyway.

By doing that, I can be pretty efficient and most of the time I can do at least some of my pet projects even when I’m busy.

Socially aware investments
So today I got a good chunk of my new animation project done (this is a series of animations for someone who’s setting up a socially responsible investment fund and is looking for investors). This means I can render some of the animation overnight and tomorrow while I’m looking after George (two days off work looking after George this week).

I should have something to show the client by Wednesday (and I think she’ll be pleased with it).

Microraptors and nanotubes
Of my own projects, I finally managed to start on designing a ”microraptor” – it’s a rather strange four winged dinosaur that nobody can quite place between dinosaurs and birds. The creature will eventually make it into a documentary on bird evolution, but luckily I can also fit its design in with another project for Science Photo Library who want me to make some stock images for their library – so I’m able to call this both my own project and commissioned work….up to a point.

I also got an email from science photo library saying they’d been contacted by a documentary maker was urgently looking for some animations of carbon nano tubes…. Creating them was easy enough, so I did it in a spare moment – hopefully they’ll be willing to go for it once they see them… I thought I’d do this even though it’s only a speculative project right now because Science photo have only just started thinking about video stock and I want to encourage them as much as I can.


Over the weekend, I had a little time to think. And I think it’s about time I did some charity work…. Not sure what yet, but some ideas are emerging…..

Managed to get two chapters of the book off to the publishers yesterday – that means I’ve got three more to go – and I’ve got until the end of the month to do it….

The google adds seem to have really kicked off now – I got someone calling yesterday who wants a children’s book illustrated – something I’d really love to do – especially as the guy who wrote it is an artist himself and has some great visual ideas in the story.

It’d be really good to do it, but I have a feeling it’s not going to happen – he’ll need 30 or so illustrations and I don’t think the publisher will have the budget to get me to do them. I’m offering them a discounted rate because I’d like to do it, but he wants detailled realistic renderings of fantastic characters and scenes on every page (effectively what you’d see in a pixar movie– and I think they’ll have a budget for nothing more than watercolour sketches.

Oh, well, never mind.

Another call came in today from someone doing a scientific study and wanting pictures they can judge children’s emotional state from…. In contrast to the previous one, these images have to be completely without character or emotion. I have to try to create characters that are ambiguous in almost every way! Again, I’m not sure these people have much of a budget for what they’re proposing either, but the pictures aren’t quite so taxing, so this one might be doable.

On top of that, I got a call last week from someone who took some photos on Christmas day and found the images were full of “spirit orbs” – they want me to see if I can get them any clearer… I’m still waiting for the disk to arrive, so we’ll see what that turns up…

I’ve now got the investment fund animation job and I’ve spent most of today getting stuck into that. The idea for the animation is quite a challenging one to achieve – lots of animated light beams and movement going on everywhere…. There’s even a bit of motion capture involved and because it’s an ethical investment fund I’ve thrown in a few dolphins too… it’s beginning to look really good, but it’ll take a while to get everything in place.

Once finished, I think this will be one for the showreel – and re-editing that to give my website www.darkin.demon.co.uk a better range of work is another well overdue job.

Let’s just add that to my huge list of well overdue jobs, then shall we?

I am, getting used to the one or two days a week of looking after George. I’m taking on more work, so it’s a bit of a strain having to take a day a week off (not that I begrudge doing it – he’s lovely most of the time – and it gives me time to get a bit of perspective).

I am able, when he takes his naps to leap onto the laptop and get a few minutes of answering emails and doing other non-intensive work done, so I don’t fall too far behind.

I don’t actually plan to get anything done on these days, so it’s useful to be able to snatch the odd half hour when he’s asleep to catch up – or at least get things prepared so that the days I am at work aren’t continually interrupted by bitty little jobs like invoicing, emailing and doing bits of research and corrections.


Another new project
Jobs from the Google advertising I’m doing aren’t flooding in, but they’re coming at a steady rate and when they do come they’re substantial jobs…

Another new one turned up yesterday from an investment firm. They want to explain a new ethical investment product to potential investors and need some graphics to do it. They’re not sure if they need animated or still pictures and like a lot of people who are now looking for graphics work, they spend most of their time doing other things, so I’m going to give them a rough version of a few different concepts with different budgets to help them work out just what they need.

It meant spending most of the day doing work that might not actually turn into a firm commission – I think you’re supposed to call this “pitching” but I don’t think I will.

It’s worthwhile doing this sometimes because it helps to clarify what’s needed from both sides and if you’re both working on very different notions of the job, it will all fall apart sometime anyway! in addition, most of the time, clients are surprised at just how much is possible – and by offering it in a visual form, you often get the chance to apply your own ideas which would probably be rejected if you tried to simply explain them.

meanwhile - I really want to get back to my documentaries - it's looking like the next couple of weeks are going to be too busy - but hopefully after that, I can organise some interviews with experts on Trex and the Raptors....

weddings and dimetrodons

Weddings and Dimetrodons

Today I managed to get most of the next video newsletter written and finished off another chapter of the book… Strangely, both pieces of writing featured tutorials on how to shoot a wedding video….

Hopefully the book will be done ahead of deadline which will be great because the advert – which I’m supposed to be making for Maltese TV is going to be a big rush. The person dealing with me has been off for a few days and is now sorting through a mass of emails before getting to mine – and I really need some info and photos from him before I can do any more work on the add….

The end of the month will be tough at this rate so if I can get the book finished early it’ll be very useful.

I’m also still trying to make some prehistoric missing links for science photo library – Dimetrodon was my project for this afternoon and he’s coming on well (although he still needs some realistic skin textures… oh, and some teeth:

Tax
I actually did get around to sorting out my tax today (or some of it at least)… and I found out that there are a few unpaid invoices I didn’t realise had been left so I’ve had to chase them up.

Hopefully doing some of my tax early this year means I don’t have to panic too much over it in January. I hope I’ll get a chance to do the rest of it, but that’s not looking likely for a while…..


Little Boxes
I also managed to design a cardboard box…. Ok, that’s not as exciting as a 3d dinosaur, but it’s something I really need to get right for this maltese advert… it’s got to look really realistic.

Why can’t I just get a real cardboard box, you might ask….

Well, I’ve got to fill a warehouse, then disintegrate it into a whirlwind… and I can’t do that with real boxes….



Anyway –continuing in the series of bits they left out of the bible - the gospel according to St Peter - it's not actually very helpful stuff I don't think - rather anti-jewish!

I can see why they left it out. What I can't see is why (if this has anything to do with Peter at all - most of the gospels were assigned pretty randomly) they decided to keep Peter as their leader - if I was going to be so cavalier about what I kept and what I through out, I'd probably edit him out altogether.

mind you - I'd edit out the current pope and his predecessor too - so maybe it's good that it's not up to me.

BUT of the Jews none washed his hands, neither Herod nor any one of his judges. And when they had refused to wash them, Pilate rose up. And then Herod the king commandeth that the Lord be taken saying to them, What things soever I commanded you to do unto him, do.
And there was standing there Joseph the friend of Pilate and of the Lord; and, knowing that they were about to crucify him, he came to Pilate and asked the body of the Lord for burial. And Pilate sent to Herod and asked his body. And Herod said, Brother Pilate, even if no one has asked for him, we purposed to bury him, especially as the sabbath draweth on: for it is written in the law, that the sun set not upon one that hath been put to death.
And he delivered him to the people on the day before the unleavened bread, their feast. And they took the Lord and pushed him as they ran, and said, Let us drag away the Son of God, having obtained power over him. And they clothed him with purple, and set him on the seat of judgment, saying, Judge righteously, 0 king of Israel. And one of them brought a crown of thorns and put it on the head of the Lord. And others stood and spat in his eyes, and others smote his cheeks: others pricked him with a reed; and some scourged him, saying, With this honor let us honor the Son of God.
And they brought two malefactors, and they crucified the Lord between them. But he held his peace, as though having no pain. And when they had raised the cross, they wrote the title: This is the king of Israel. And having set his garments before him they parted them among them, and cast lots for them. And one of those malefactors reproached them, saying, We for the evils that we have done have suffered thus, but this man, who hath become the Saviour of men, what wrong hath he done to you? And they, being angered at him, commanded that his legs should not be broken, that he might die in torment.
And it was noon, and darkness came over all Judaea: and they were troubled and distressed, lest the sun had set, whilst he was yet alive: [for] it is written for them, that the sun set not on him that hath been put to death. And one of them said, Give him to drink gall with vinegar. And they mixed and gave him to drink, and fulfilled all things, and accomplished their sins against their own head. And many went about with lamps, supposing that it was night, and fell down. And the Lord cried out, saying, My power, my power, thou hast forsaken me. And when he had said it he was taken up. And in that hour the vail of the temple of Jerusalem was rent in twain.
And then they drew out the nails from the hands of the Lord, and laid him upon the earth, and the whole earth quaked, and great fear arose. Then the sun shone, and it was found the ninth hour: and the Jews rejoiced, and gave his body to Joseph that he might bury it, since he had seen what good things he had done. And he took the Lord, and washed him, and rolled him in a linen cloth, and brought him to his own tomb, which was called the Garden of Joseph.
Then the Jews and the elders and the priests, perceiving what evil they had done to themselves, began to lament and to say, Woe for our sins: the judgment hath drawn nigh, and the end of Jerusalem. And I with my companions was grieved; and being wounded in mind we hid ourselves: for we were being sought for by them as malefactors, and as wishing to set fire to the temple. And upon all these things we fasted and sat mourning and weeping night and day until the sabbath.
But the scribes and Pharisees and elders being gathered together one with another, when they heard that all the people murmured and beat their breasts saying, If by his death these most mighty signs have come to pass, see how righteous he is, -the elders were afraid and came to Pilate beseeching him and saying, Give us soldiers, that we may guard his sepulchre for three days, lest his disciples come and steal him away, and the people suppose that he is risen from the dead and do us evil. And Pilate gave them Petronius the centurion with soldiers to guard the tomb. And with them came elders and scribes to the sepulchre, and having rolled a great stone together with the centurion and the soldiers, they all together who were there set it at the door of the sepulchre; and they affixed seven seals, and they pitched a tent there and guarded it. And early in the morning as the sabbath was drawing on, there came a multitude from Jerusalem and the region round about, that they might see the sepulchre that was sealed.
And in the night in which the Lord's day was drawing on, as the soldiers kept guard two by two in a watch, there was a great voice in the heaven; and they saw the heavens opened, and two men descend from thence with great light and approach the tomb. And that stone which was put at the door rolled of itself and made way in part; and the tomb was opened, and both the young men entered in.
When therefore those soldiers saw it, they awakened the centurion and the elders; for they too were hard by keeping guard. And as they declared what things they had seen, again they see three men come forth from the tomb, and two of them supporting one, and a cross following them: and of the two the head reached unto the heaven, but the head of him who was lead by them overpassed the heavens. And they heard a voice from the heavens, saying, Thou hast preached to them that sleep. And a response was heard from the cross, Yea.
They therefore considered one with another whether to go away and shew these things to Pilate. And while they yet thought thereon, the heavens again are seen to open, and a certain man to descend and enter into the sepulchre. When the centurion and they that were with him saw these things, they hastened in the night to Pilate, leaving the tomb which they were watching, and declared all things which they had seen, being greatly distressed and saying, Truly he was the Son of God. Pilate answered and said, I am pure from the blood of the Son of God: but it was ye who determined this. Then they all drew near and besought him and entreated him to command the centurion and the soldiers to say nothing of the things which they had seen: For it is better, say they, for us to be guilty of the greatest sin before God, and not to fall into the hands of the people of the Jews and to be stoned. Pilate therefore commanded the centurion and the soldiers to say nothing.
And at dawn upon the Lord's day Mary Magdalene, a disciple of the Lord, fearing because of the Jews, since they were burning with wrath, had not done at the Lord's sepulchre the things which women are wont to do for those that die and for those that are beloved by them -- she took her friends with her and came to the sepulchre where he was laid. And they feared lest the Jews should see them, and they said, Although on that day on which he was crucified we could not weep and lament, yet now let us do these things at his sepulchre. But who shall roll away for us the stone that was laid at the door of the sepulchre, that we may enter in and sit by him and do the things that are due? For the stone was great, and we fear lest some one see us. And if we cannot, yet if we but set at the door the things which we bring as a memorial of him, we will weep and lament, until we come unto our home.
And, they went and found the tomb opened, and coming near they looked in there; and they see there a certain young man sitting in the midst of the tomb, beautiful and clothed in a robe exceeding bright; who said to them, Wherefore are ye come? Whom seek ye? Him that was crucified? He is risen and gone. But if ye believe not, look in and see the place where he lay, that he is not [here] ; for he is risen and gone thither, whence he was sent. Then the women feared and fled.
Now it was the last day of the unleavened bread, and many were going forth, returning to their homes, as the feast was ended. But we, the twelve disciples of the Lord, wept and were grieved: and each one, being grieved for that which was come to pass, departed to his home. But I Simon Peter and Andrew my brother took our nets and went to the sea; and there was with us Levi the son of Alphaeus, whom the Lord.

Yesterday was a day of looking after George and going to see flats. The one in the morning wasn’t very spectacular, but in the afternoon, Lisa got home a bit early and we went to see three different flats with a slightly lower price tag than the ones we’d seen in our road…. These are the kind of thing that might be possible as a way to make ends meet in a couple of years when Lisa stops working, we have two children and the mortgage deal on our own house runs out forcing us to buy into what I think will be a much worse deal (property prices are falling and interest rates are getting worse – it’s time to get security for the coming storms, I think)

Anyway, more on that as it develops.


What I should have done today:
Sorted out my tax for the last year (which for some reason ends on the 4th of April every year) and filed all my recipts ready for sorting through later.
Got my invoicing up to date and chased up outstanding stuff.
Talked to some of the magazines about what work I should be doing over the next month.

What I did today:
Did most of the illustration of the end Permian extinction I’m making for Raoul at the Natural History Museum.
Designed some prehistoric creatures for a long overdue series of illustrations for Science Photo Library – on evolutionary missing links (the first land creature, the first bird, the first mammal – that kind of thing). Actually, it turns out they’re not really missing at all – there’s good fossil evidence for most of them – lucky really otherwise I wouldn’t be able to reconstruct them.

It’s a whole lot more interesting than doing my tax.

The trouble is that everything is more interesting than tax, so it’s usually the 20th January before I do it… not a good move since I have to pay the bill on the 31st and it’s almost always a huge shock!


I also can’t help thinking I need to update my website – I’m putting a lot of money into advertising it now, so it probably needs to look a bit more corporate….

Anyway, tomorrow is another day with George… so Friday is tax day…

Well, maybe.

I also (very briefly) tried out secondlife for the first time. It’s something I’ve been meaning to do as everyone keeps going on about it and as someone who does 3d stuff most of the time, I really ought to be aware of this major phenomenon…

In case you’ve never met secondlife it’s basically a 3d videogame in which you make up the rules yourself. You pick a look for your character, then wander around in a virtual world meeting other virtual people controlling their characters anywhere in the world. The idea is that you can buy, or build objects, places, whatever you like…It’s not all that advanced, but there’s a huge variety of places and events built by people, so it’s probably worth exploring once I get time….

the gospel of doubting thomas

book
Today I’ve finally outlined and got most of the flesh on the final chapter of the book – I now need to go through and start polishing, getting photos and screengrabs and generally making it all readable.

I’ve also made a start on an illustration I’ve got to do for a friend at the natural history museum (the people who wanted to talk to me there haven’t called back which is a bit odd- but I think their timescales are a little slow so I’m not too worried.

And I’ve been doing an illustration for an article on quantum computing in Nature – the brief has changed half way through which is a bit of a pain because I thought we had a really good image coming on (which I’ll post here):

I’ve now had to do something completely different which I don’t think is as good….
Still, that happens sometimes - the editor’s looking to what suits the article best whereas I’m just looking at how nice the picture is….


I’ll be looking after George tomorrow, so no work until Wednesday.

Comments are coming in about the documentary – all positive – so not to many re-edits hopefully… still I’m missing a piece of footage from NASA and I’ll have to chase them up..

Also the advert I’m supposed to be making seems to have ground to a halt – the people commissioning it have gone a bit quiet (possibly on holiday) and I can’t work on it without a little more information from them….


Anyway – I haven’t posted a lost gospel for a few days, so here’s the Gospel according to Thomas (that’s doubting Thomas – the one disciple who actually seemed to be able to think for himself):

Translated by Thomas O. Lambdin
These are the secret sayings which the living Jesus spoke and which Didymos Judas Thomas wrote down.
(1) And he said, "Whoever finds the interpretation of these sayings will not experience death."
(2) Jesus said, "Let him who seeks continue seeking until he finds. When he finds, he will become troubled. When he becomes troubled, he will be astonished, and he will rule over the All."
(3) Jesus said, "If those who lead you say to you, 'See, the kingdom is in the sky,' then the birds of the sky will precede you. If they say to you, 'It is in the sea,' then the fish will precede you. Rather, the kingdom is inside of you, and it is outside of you. When you come to know yourselves, then you will become known, and you will realize that it is you who are the sons of the living father. But if you will not know yourselves, you dwell in poverty and it is you who are that poverty."
(4) Jesus said, "The man old in days will not hesitate to ask a small child seven days old about the place of life, and he will live. For many who are first will become last, and they will become one and the same."
(5) Jesus said, "Recognize what is in your sight, and that which is hidden from you will become plain to you . For there is nothing hidden which will not become manifest."
(6) His disciples questioned him and said to him, "Do you want us to fast? How shall we pray? Shall we give alms? What diet shall we observe?" Jesus said, "Do not tell lies, and do not do what you hate, for all things are plain in the sight of heaven. For nothing hidden will not become manifest, and nothing covered will remain without being uncovered."
(7) Jesus said, "Blessed is the lion which becomes man when consumed by man; and cursed is the man whom the lion consumes, and the lion becomes man."
(8) And he said, "The man is like a wise fisherman who cast his net into the sea and drew it up from the sea full of small fish. Among them the wise fisherman found a fine large fish. He threw all the small fish back into the sea and chose the large fish without difficulty. Whoever has ears to hear, let him hear."
(9) Jesus said, "Now the sower went out, took a handful (of seeds), and scattered them. Some fell on the road; the birds came and gathered them up. Others fell on the rock, did not take root in the soil, and did not produce ears. And others fell on thorns; they choked the seed(s) and worms ate them. And others fell on the good soil and it produced good fruit: it bore sixty per measure and a hundred and twenty per measure."
(10) Jesus said, "I have cast fire upon the world, and see, I am guarding it until it blazes."
(11) Jesus said, "This heaven will pass away, and the one above it will pass away. The dead are not alive, and the living will not die. In the days when you consumed what is dead, you made it what is alive. When you come to dwell in the light, what will you do? On the day when you were one you became two. But when you become two, what will you do?"
(12) The disciples said to Jesus, "We know that you will depart from us. Who is to be our leader?" Jesus said to them, "Wherever you are, you are to go to James the righteous, for whose sake heaven and earth came into being."
(13) Jesus said to his disciples, "Compare me to someone and tell me whom I am like." Simon Peter said to him, "You are like a righteous angel." Matthew said to him, "You are like a wise philosopher." Thomas said to him, "Master, my mouth is wholly incapable of saying whom you are like." Jesus said, "I am not your master. Because you have drunk, you have become intoxicated from the bubbling spring which I have measured out." And he took him and withdrew and told him three things. When Thomas returned to his companions, they asked him, "What did Jesus say to you?" Thomas said to them, "If I tell you one of the things which he told me, you will pick up stones and throw them at me; a fire will come out of the stones and burn you up."
(14) Jesus said to them, "If you fast, you will give rise to sin for yourselves; and if you pray, you will be condemned; and if you give alms, you will do harm to your spirits. When you go into any land and walk about in the districts, if they receive you, eat what they will set before you, and heal the sick among them. For what goes into your mouth will not defile you, but that which issues from your mouth - it is that which will defile you."
(15) Jesus said, "When you see one who was not born of woman, prostrate yourselves on your faces and worship him. That one is your father."
(16) Jesus said, "Men think, perhaps, that it is peace which I have come to cast upon the world. They do not know that it is dissension which I have come to cast upon the earth: fire, sword, and war. For there will be five in a house: three will be against two, and two against three, the father against the son, and the son against the father. And they will stand solitary."
(17) Jesus said, "I shall give you what no eye has seen and what no ear has heard and what no hand has touched and what has never occurred to the human mind."
(18) The disciples said to Jesus, "Tell us how our end will be." Jesus said, "Have you discovered, then, the beginning, that you look for the end? For where the beginning is, there will the end be. Blessed is he who will take his place in the beginning; he will know the end and will not experience death."
(19) Jesus said, "Blessed is he who came into being before he came into being. If you become my disciples and listen to my words, these stones will minister to you. For there are five trees for you in Paradise which remain undisturbed summer and winter and whose leaves do not fall. Whoever becomes acquainted with them will not experience death."
(20) The disciples said to Jesus, "Tell us what the kingdom of heaven is like." He said to them, "It is like a mustard seed. It is the smallest of all seeds. But when it falls on tilled soil, it produces a great plant and becomes a shelter for birds of the sky."
(21) Mary said to Jesus, "Whom are your disciples like?" He said, "They are like children who have settled in a field which is not theirs. When the owners of the field come, they will say, 'Let us have back our field.' They (will) undress in their presence in order to let them have back their field and to give it back to them. Therefore I say, if the owner of a house knows that the thief is coming, he will begin his vigil before he comes and will not let him dig through into his house of his domain to carry away his goods. You, then, be on your guard against the world. Arm yourselves with great strength lest the robbers find a way to come to you, for the difficulty which you expect will (surely) materialize. Let there be among you a man of understanding. When the grain ripened, he came quickly with his sickle in his hand and reaped it. Whoever has ears to hear, let him hear."
(22) Jesus saw infants being suckled. He said to his disciples, "These infants being suckled are like those who enter the kingdom." They said to him, "Shall we then, as children, enter the kingdom?" Jesus said to them, "When you make the two one, and when you make the inside like the outside and the outside like the inside, and the above like the below, and when you make the male and the female one and the same, so that the male not be male nor the female female; and when you fashion eyes in the place of an eye, and a hand in place of a hand, and a foot in place of a foot, and a likeness in place of a likeness; then will you enter the kingdom."
(23) Jesus said, "I shall choose you, one out of a thousand, and two out of ten thousand, and they shall stand as a single one."
(24) His disciples said to him, "Show us the place where you are, since it is necessary for us to seek it." He said to them, "Whoever has ears, let him hear. There is light within a man of light, and he lights up the whole world. If he does not shine, he is darkness."
(25) Jesus said, "Love your brother like your soul, guard him like the pupil of your eye."
(26) Jesus said, "You see the mote in your brother's eye, but you do not see the beam in your own eye. When you cast the beam out of your own eye, then you will see clearly to cast the mote from your brother's eye."
(27) "If you do not fast as regards the world, you will not find the kingdom. If you do not observe the Sabbath as a Sabbath, you will not see the father."
(28) Jesus said, "I took my place in the midst of the world, and I appeared to them in flesh. I found all of them intoxicated; I found none of them thirsty. And my soul became afflicted for the sons of men, because they are blind in their hearts and do not have sight; for empty they came into the world, and empty too they seek to leave the world. But for the moment they are intoxicated. When they shake off their wine, then they will repent."
(29) Jesus said, "If the flesh came into being because of spirit, it is a wonder. But if spirit came into being because of the body, it is a wonder of wonders. Indeed, I am amazed at how this great wealth has made its home in this poverty."
(30) Jesus said, "Where there are three gods, they are gods. Where there are two or one, I am with him."
(31) Jesus said, "No prophet is accepted in his own village; no physician heals those who know him."
(32) Jesus said, "A city being built on a high mountain and fortified cannot fall, nor can it be hidden."
(33) Jesus said, "Preach from your housetops that which you will hear in your ear. For no one lights a lamp and puts it under a bushel, nor does he put it in a hidden place, but rather he sets it on a lampstand so that everyone who enters and leaves will see its light."
(34) Jesus said, "If a blind man leads a blind man, they will both fall into a pit."
(35) Jesus said, "It is not possible for anyone to enter the house of a strong man and take it by force unless he binds his hands; then he will (be able to) ransack his house."
(36) Jesus said, "Do not be concerned from morning until evening and from evening until morning about what you will wear."
(37) His disciples said, "When will you become revealed to us and when shall we see you?" Jesus said, "When you disrobe without being ashamed and take up your garments and place them under your feet like little children and tread on them, then will you see the son of the living one, and you will not be afraid"
(38) Jesus said, "Many times have you desired to hear these words which I am saying to you, and you have no one else to hear them from. There will be days when you will look for me and will not find me."
(39) Jesus said, "The pharisees and the scribes have taken the keys of knowledge (gnosis) and hidden them. They themselves have not entered, nor have they allowed to enter those who wish to. You, however, be as wise as serpents and as innocent as doves."
(40) Jesus said, "A grapevine has been planted outside of the father, but being unsound, it will be pulled up by its roots and destroyed."
(41) Jesus said, "Whoever has something in his hand will receive more, and whoever has nothing will be deprived of even the little he has."
(42) Jesus said, "Become passers-by."
(43) His disciples said to him, "Who are you, that you should say these things to us?" "You do not realize who I am from what I say to you, but you have become like the Jews, for they (either) love the tree and hate its fruit (or) love the fruit and hate the tree."
(44) Jesus said, "Whoever blasphemes against the father will be forgiven, and whoever blasphemes against the son will be forgiven, but whoever blasphemes against the holy spirit will not be forgiven either on earth or in heaven."
(45) Jesus said, "Grapes are not harvested from thorns, nor are figs gathered from thistles, for they do not produce fruit. A good man brings forth good from his storehouse; an evil man brings forth evil things from his evil storehouse, which is in his heart, and says evil things. For out of the abundance of the heart he brings forth evil things."
(46) Jesus said, "Among those born of women, from Adam until John the Baptist, there is no one so superior to John the Baptist that his eyes should not be lowered (before him). Yet I have said, whichever one of you comes to be a child will be acquainted with the kingdom and will become superior to John."
(47) Jesus said, "It is impossible for a man to mount two horses or to stretch two bows. And it is impossible for a servant to serve two masters; otherwise, he will honor the one and treat the other contemptuously. No man drinks old wine and immediately desires to drink new wine. And new wine is not put into old wineskins, lest they burst; nor is old wine put into a new wineskin, lest it spoil it. An old patch is not sewn onto a new garment, because a tear would result."
(48) Jesus said, "If two make peace with each other in this one house, they will say to the mountain, 'Move Away,' and it will move away."
(49) Jesus said, "Blessed are the solitary and elect, for you will find the kingdom. For you are from it, and to it you will return."
(50) Jesus said, "If they say to you, 'Where did you come from?', say to them, 'We came from the light, the place where the light came into being on its own accord and established itself and became manifest through their image.' If they say to you, 'Is it you?', say, 'We are its children, we are the elect of the living father.' If they ask you, 'What is the sign of your father in you?', say to them, 'It is movement and repose.'"
(51) His disciples said to him, "When will the repose of the dead come about, and when will the new world come?" He said to them, "What you look forward to has already come, but you do not recognize it."
(52) His disciples said to him, "Twenty-four prophets spoke in Israel, and all of them spoke in you." He said to them, "You have omitted the one living in your presence and have spoken (only) of the dead."
(53) His disciples said to him, "Is circumcision beneficial or not?" He said to them, "If it were beneficial, their father would beget them already circumcised from their mother. Rather, the true circumcision in spirit has become completely profitable."
(54) Jesus said, "Blessed are the poor, for yours is the kingdom of heaven."
(55) Jesus said, "Whoever does not hate his father and his mother cannot become a disciple to me. And whoever does not hate his brothers and sisters and take up his cross in my way will not be worthy of me."
(56) Jesus said, "Whoever has come to understand the world has found (only) a corpse, and whoever has found a corpse is superior to the world."
(57) Jesus said, "The kingdom of the father is like a man who had good seed. His enemy came by night and sowed weeds among the good seed. The man did not allow them to pull up the weeds; he said to them, 'I am afraid that you will go intending to pull up the weeds and pull up the wheat along with them.' For on the day of the harvest the weeds will be plainly visible, and they will be pulled up and burned."
(58) Jesus said, "Blessed is the man who has suffered and found life."
(59) Jesus said, "Take heed of the living one while you are alive, lest you die and seek to see him and be unable to do so."
(60) a Samaritan carrying a lamb on his way to Judea. He said to his disciples, "That man is round about the lamb." They said to him, "So that he may kill it and eat it." He said to them, "While it is alive, he will not eat it, but only when he has killed it and it has become a corpse." They said to him, "He cannot do so otherwise." He said to them, "You too, look for a place for yourself within repose, lest you become a corpse and be eaten."
(61) Jesus said, "Two will rest on a bed: the one will die, and the other will live." Salome said, "Who are you, man, that you ... have come up on my couch and eaten from my table?" Jesus said to her, "I am he who exists from the undivided. I was given some of the things of my father." <...> "I am your disciple." <...> "Therefore I say, if he is destroyed, he will be filled with light, but if he is divided, he will be filled with darkness."
(62) Jesus said, "It is to those who are worthy of my mysteries that I tell my mysteries. Do not let your left (hand) know what your right (hand) is doing."
(63) Jesus said, "There was a rich man who had much money. He said, 'I shall put my money to use so that I may sow, reap, plant, and fill my storehouse with produce, with the result that I shall lack nothing.' Such were his intentions, but that same night he died. Let him who has ears hear."
(64) Jesus said, "A man had received visitors. And when he had prepared the dinner, he sent his servant to invite the guests. He went to the first one and said to him, 'My master invites you.' He said, 'I have claims against some merchants. They are coming to me this evening. I must go and give them my orders. I ask to be excused from the dinner.' He went to another and said to him, 'My master has invited you.' He said to him, 'I have just bought a house and am required for the day. I shall not have any spare time.' He went to another and said to him, 'My master invites you.' He said to him, 'My friend is going to get married, and I am to prepare the banquet. I shall not be able to come. I ask to be excused from the dinner.' He went to another and said to him, 'My master invites you.' He said to him, 'I have just bought a farm, and I am on my way to collect the rent. I shall not be able to come. I ask to be excused.' The servant returned and said to his master, 'Those whom you invited to the dinner have asked to be excused.' The master said to his servant, 'Go outside to the streets and bring back those whom you happen to meet, so that they may dine.' Businessmen and merchants will not enter the places of my father."
(65) He said, "There was a good man who owned a vineyard. He leased it to tenant farmers so that they might work it and he might collect the produce from them. He sent his servant so that the tenants might give him the produce of the vineyard. They seized his servant and beat him, all but killing him. The servant went back and told his master. The master said, 'Perhaps he did not recognize them.' He sent another servant. The tenants beat this one as well. Then the owner sent his son and said, 'Perhaps they will show respect to my son.' Because the tenants knew that it was he who was the heir to the vineyard, they seized him and killed him. Let him who has ears hear."
(66) Jesus said, "Show me the stone which the builders have rejected. That one is the cornerstone."
(67) Jesus said, "If one who knows the all still feels a personal deficiency, he is completely deficient."
(68) Jesus said, "Blessed are you when you are hated and persecuted. Wherever you have been persecuted they will find no place."
(69) Jesus said, "Blessed are they who have been persecuted within themselves. It is they who have truly come to know the father. Blessed are the hungry, for the belly of him who desires will be filled."
(70) Jesus said, "That which you have will save you if you bring it forth from yourselves. That which you do not have within you will kill you if you do not have it within you."
(71) Jesus said, "I shall destroy this house, and no one will be able to build it [...]."
(72) A man said to him, "Tell my brothers to divide my father's possessions with me." He said to him, "O man, who has made me a divider?" He turned to his disciples and said to them, "I am not a divider, am I?"
(73) Jesus said, "The harvest is great but the laborers are few. Beseech the Lord, therefore, to send out laborers to the harvest."
(74) He said, "O Lord, there are many around the drinking trough, but there is nothing in the cistern."
(75) Jesus said, "Many are standing at the door, but it is the solitary who will enter the bridal chamber."
(76) Jesus said, "The kingdom of the father is like a merchant who had a consignment of merchandise and who discovered a pearl. That merchant was shrewd. He sold the merchandise and bought the pearl alone for himself. You too, seek his unfailing and enduring treasure where no moth comes near to devour and no worm destroys."
(77) Jesus said, "It is I who am the light which is above them all. It is I who am the all. From me did the all come forth, and unto me did the all extend. Split a piece of wood, and I am there. Lift up the stone, and you will find me there."
(78) Jesus said, "Why have you come out into the desert? To see a reed shaken by the wind? And to see a man clothed in fine garments like your kings and your great men? Upon them are the fine garments, and they are unable to discern the truth."
(79) A woman from the crowd said to him, "Blessed are the womb which bore you and the breasts which nourished you." He said to her, "Blessed are those who have heard the word of the father and have truly kept it. For there will be days when you will say, 'Blessed are the womb which has not conceived and the breasts which have not given milk.'"
(80) Jesus said, "He who has recognized the world has found the body, but he who has found the body is superior to the world."
(81) Jesus said, "Let him who has grown rich be king, and let him who possesses power renounce it."
(82) Jesus said, "He who is near me is near the fire, and he who is far from me is far from the kingdom."
(83) Jesus said, "The images are manifest to man, but the light in them remains concealed in the image of the light of the father. He will become manifest, but his image will remain concealed by his light."
(84) Jesus said, "When you see your likeness, you rejoice. But when you see your images which came into being before you, and which neither die not become manifest, how much you will have to bear!"
(85) Jesus said, "Adam came into being from a great power and a great wealth, but he did not become worthy of you. For had he been worthy, he would not have experienced death."
(86) Jesus said, "The foxes have their holes and the birds have their nests, but the son of man has no place to lay his head and rest."
(87) Jesus said, "Wretched is the body that is dependant upon a body, and wretched is the soul that is dependent on these two."
(88) Jesus said, "The angels and the prophets will come to you and give to you those things you (already) have. And you too, give them those things which you have, and say to yourselves, 'When will they come and take what is theirs?'"
(89) Jesus said, "Why do you wash the outside of the cup? Do you not realize that he who made the inside is the same one who made the outside?"
(90) Jesus said, "Come unto me, for my yoke is easy and my lordship is mild, and you will find repose for yourselves."
(91) They said to him, "Tell us who you are so that we may believe in you." He said to them, "You read the face of the sky and of the earth, but you have not recognized the one who is before you, and you do not know how to read this moment."
(92) Jesus said, "Seek and you will find. Yet, what you asked me about in former times and which I did not tell you then, now I do desire to tell, but you do not inquire after it."
(93) "Do not give what is holy to dogs, lest they throw them on the dung-heap. Do not throw the pearls to swine, lest they [...] it [...]."
(94) Jesus said, "He who seeks will find, and he who knocks will be let in."
(95) Jesus said, "If you have money, do not lend it at interest, but give it to one from whom you will not get it back."
(96) Jesus said, "The kingdom of the father is like a certain woman. She took a little leaven, concealed it in some dough, and made it into large loaves. Let him who has ears hear."
(97) Jesus said, "The kingdom of the father is like a certain woman who was carrying a jar full of meal. While she was walking on the road, still some distance from home, the handle of the jar broke and the meal emptied out behind her on the road. She did not realize it; she had noticed no accident. When she reached her house, she set the jar down and found it empty."
(98) Jesus said, "The kingdom of the father is like a certain man who wanted to kill a powerful man. In his own house he drew his sword and stuck it into the wall in order to find out whether his hand could carry through. Then he slew the powerful man."
(99) The disciples said to him, "Your brothers and your mother are standing outside." He said to them, "Those here who do the will of my father are my brothers and my mother. It is they who will enter the kingdom of my father."
(100) They showed Jesus a gold coin and said to him, "Caesar's men demand taxes from us." He said to them, "Give Caesar what belongs to Caesar, give God what belongs to God, and give me what is mine."
(101) "Whoever does not hate his father and his mother as I do cannot become a disciple to me. And whoever does not love his father and his mother as I do cannot become a disciple to me. For my mother [...], but my true mother gave me life."
(102) Jesus said, "Woe to the pharisees, for they are like a dog sleeping in the manger of oxen, for neither does he eat nor does he let the oxen eat."
(103) Jesus said, "Fortunate is the man who knows where the brigands will enter, so that he may get up, muster his domain, and arm himself before they invade."
(104) They said to Jesus, "Come, let us pray today and let us fast." Jesus said, "What is the sin that I have committed, or wherein have I been defeated? But when the bridegroom leaves the bridal chamber, then let them fast and pray."
(105) Jesus said, "He who knows the father and the mother will be called the son of a harlot."
(106) Jesus said, "When you make the two one, you will become the sons of man, and when you say, 'Mountain, move away,' it will move away."
(107) Jesus said, "The kingdom is like a shepherd who had a hundred sheep. One of them, the largest, went astray. He left the ninety-nine sheep and looked for that one until he found it. When he had gone to such trouble, he said to the sheep, 'I care for you more than the ninety-nine.'"
(108) Jesus said, "He who will drink from my mouth will become like me. I myself shall become he, and the things that are hidden will be revealed to him."
(109) Jesus said, "The kingdom is like a man who had a hidden treasure in his field without knowing it. And after he died, he left it to his son. The son did not know (about the treasure). He inherited the field and sold it. And the one who bought it went plowing and found the treasure. He began to lend money at interest to whomever he wished."
(110) Jesus said, "Whoever finds the world and becomes rich, let him renounce the world."
(111) Jesus said, "The heavens and the earth will be rolled up in your presence. And the one who lives from the living one will not see death." Does not Jesus say, "Whoever finds himself is superior to the world?"
(112) Jesus said, "Woe to the flesh that depends on the soul; woe to the soul that depends on the flesh."
(113) His disciples said to him, "When will the kingdom come?" "It will not come by waiting for it. It will not be a matter of saying 'here it is' or 'there it is.' Rather, the kingdom of the father is spread out upon the earth, and men do not see it."
(114) Simon Peter said to him, "Let Mary leave us, for women are not worthy of life." Jesus said, "I myself shall lead her in order to make her male, so that she too may become a living spirit resembling you males. For every woman who will make herself male will enter the kingdom of heaven."
The Gospel According to Thomas

the gospel of mary magdalene

I had to write a chapter of the book today, I’ve also had to do more design work for the advert I’m making for Maltese TV and half way through the day I got an email from Nature wanting another illustration.

This one’s for an article on Topological quantum computing – and given that I don’t know what that is, and they’re expecting the initial draft of the illustration today, I’ve been quite busy.

I’ve eventually come up with something involving coffee cups made out of donuts… don’t ask. I still don’t understand it.

so it's been a pretty hectic day and very concentrated. I've been jumping between one project and another and back again to make the best use of time, and it's not something my brain handles well.

having sent off copies of the documentary, they've begun to arrive, and I'm getting good feedback. This is giving me a chance to rest the project and get some distance from it - which is useful - and I can go back to it in a couple of weeks to tweak it.

Anyway, for a bit of light relief, here’s the gospel of Mary Magdalene….
It’s a bit short and there’s a lot missing. She also seems quite keen on her own importance. Mind you, I guess you had to be as the only woman there – especially when they’re all pretty derogatory about her if the other gospels are anything to go by.

She definitely does imply she shagged him though!

this one isn't copyrighted by the way


The Gospel According to Mary Magdalene
Chapter 4
(Pages 1 to 6 of the manuscript, containing chapters 1 - 3, are lost. The extant text starts on page 7...)
. . . Will matter then be destroyed or not?
22) The Savior said, All nature, all formations, all creatures exist in and with one another, and they will be resolved again into their own roots.
23) For the nature of matter is resolved into the roots of its own nature alone.
24) He who has ears to hear, let him hear.
25) Peter said to him, Since you have explained everything to us, tell us this also: What is the sin of the world?
26) The Savior said There is no sin, but it is you who make sin when you do the things that are like the nature of adultery, which is called sin.
27) That is why the Good came into your midst, to the essence of every nature in order to restore it to its root.
28) Then He continued and said, That is why you become sick and die, for you are deprived of the one who can heal you.
29) He who has a mind to understand, let him understand.
30) Matter gave birth to a passion that has no equal, which proceeded from something contrary to nature. Then there arises a disturbance in its whole body.
31) That is why I said to you, Be of good courage, and if you are discouraged be encouraged in the presence of the different forms of nature.
32) He who has ears to hear, let him hear.
33) When the Blessed One had said this, He greeted them all,saying, Peace be with you. Receive my peace unto yourselves.
34) Beware that no one lead you astray saying Lo here or lo there! For the Son of Man is within you.
35) Follow after Him!
36) Those who seek Him will find Him.
37) Go then and preach the gospel of the Kingdom.
38) Do not lay down any rules beyond what I appointed you, and do not give a law like the lawgiver lest you be constrained by it.
39) When He said this He departed.
Chapter 5
1) But they were grieved. They wept greatly, saying, How shall we go to the Gentiles and preach the gospel of the Kingdom of the Son of Man? If they did not spare Him, how will they spare us?
2) Then Mary stood up, greeted them all, and said to her brethren, Do not weep and do not grieve nor be irresolute, for His grace will be entirely with you and will protect you.
3) But rather, let us praise His greatness, for He has prepared us and made us into Men.
4) When Mary said this, she turned their hearts to the Good, and they began to discuss the words of the Savior.
5) Peter said to Mary, Sister we know that the Savior loved you more than the rest of woman.
6) Tell us the words of the Savior which you remember which you know, but we do not, nor have we heard them.
7) Mary answered and said, What is hidden from you I will proclaim to you.
8) And she began to speak to them these words: I, she said, I saw the Lord in a vision and I said to Him, Lord I saw you today in a vision. He answered and said to me,
9) Blessed are you that you did not waver at the sight of Me. For where the mind is there is the treasure.
10) I said to Him, Lord, how does he who sees the vision see it, through the soul or through the spirit?
11) The Savior answered and said, He does not see through the soul nor through the spirit, but the mind that is between the two that is what sees the vision and it is [...]
(pages 11 - 14 are missing from the manuscript)
Chapter 8:
. . . it.
10) And desire said, I did not see you descending, but now I see you ascending. Why do you lie since you belong to me?
11) The soul answered and said, I saw you. You did not see me nor recognize me. I served you as a garment and you did not know me.
12) When it said this, it (the soul) went away rejoicing greatly.
13) Again it came to the third power, which is called ignorance.
14) The power questioned the soul, saying, Where are you going? In wickedness are you bound. But you are bound; do not judge!
15) And the soul said, Why do you judge me, although I have not judged?
16) I was bound, though I have not bound.
17) I was not recognized. But I have recognized that the All is being dissolved, both the earthly things and the heavenly.
18) When the soul had overcome the third power, it went upwards and saw the fourth power, which took seven forms.
19) The first form is darkness, the second desire, the third ignorance, the fourth is the excitement of death, the fifth is the kingdom of the flesh, the sixth is the foolish wisdom of flesh, the seventh is the wrathful wisdom. These are the seven powers of wrath.
20) They asked the soul, Whence do you come slayer of men, or where are you going, conqueror of space?
21) The soul answered and said, What binds me has been slain, and what turns me about has been overcome,
22) and my desire has been ended, and ignorance has died.
23) In a aeon I was released from a world, and in a Type from a type, and from the fetter of oblivion which is transient.
24) From this time on will I attain to the rest of the time, of the season, of the aeon, in silence.
Chapter 9
1) When Mary had said this, she fell silent, since it was to this point that the Savior had spoken with her.
2) But Andrew answered and said to the brethren, Say what you wish to say about what she has said. I at least do not believe that the Savior said this. For certainly these teachings are strange ideas.
3) Peter answered and spoke concerning these same things.
4) He questioned them about the Savior: Did He really speak privately with a woman and not openly to us? Are we to turn about and all listen to her? Did He prefer her to us?
5) Then Mary wept and said to Peter, My brother Peter, what do you think? Do you think that I have thought this up myself in my heart, or that I am lying about the Savior?
6) Levi answered and said to Peter, Peter you have always been hot tempered.
7) Now I see you contending against the woman like the adversaries.
8) But if the Savior made her worthy, who are you indeed to reject her? Surely the Savior knows her very well.
9) That is why He loved her more than us. Rather let us be ashamed and put on the perfect Man, and separate as He commanded us and preach the gospel, not laying down any other rule or other law beyond what the Savior said.
10) And when they heard this they began to go forth to proclaim and to preach.

Princess diana and the lost Gospel of Judas

It looks like I’ve got another big job to do – A TV advert for a Maltese version of Argos – sounds like fun and quite a challenge…. Deadline at the end of the month – just when the book needs to be finished…

Today, I made a start on it. Basically I need to design a warehouse full of goods. I designed the shelving today and got a pretty good test of how it will look superimposed into a backdrop. It’s looking good – and it’s the first time I’ve used Photoshop’s vanishing point tool to turn a photo into a 3d environment for an animation. It seemed to work, but I’m still not confident with the tool.

I also made a start on another chapter of the book. I managed to do a little of it yesterday, but I was looking after George, so I could only work in the hour or so that he slept… still, I’m getting there and this month – though full – looks possible.


The inquest into the death of lady Diana looks as though it’s going to find no evidence of a conspiracy…The problem the royal family is facing over this, however isn’t evidence, it’s truth. It’s the same problem the Catholic church faced over the Da Vinci Code.

It’s not that there’s any evidence to suggest that the Royal family had Diana Killed. It’s just that we’ve had a monarchy for a thousand years, and there are certain things we’ve come to expect from them. The evidence says they’re completely innocent, but given what we’ve seen them do over the past thousand years, not having anything to do with Diana’s death would just be so out of character for them.

It takes a lot of believing.

In the same way, the Catholic church found themselves having to deny that they’d been trying to kill of the family of Christ with secret assassins – not because there was any specific truth in the book – but because people had tuned into the underlying truth that the church has covered up just this kind of thing time and time again down the years.

I saw a documentary a couple of weeks ago about the church’s rejection of several other gospels which had at least as much validity as those of Mark and John (apparently the Gospels of Mark and John never claimed to be written by or on behalf of those disciples – the church just needed names for them and invented them).

Anyway the one that puzzled me was the gospel of Peter – i.e. the first Pope. The founder of the church, the leader of the disciples. Apparently he wrote a gospel, but later when they came to assemble the bible, they decided it just didn’t fit in with the product they were trying to sell, so they junked it.

And that’s my problem – not that they left out parts – they were the church, so they’ve got a perfect right to edit the bible to tell their story.

My problem is twofold:

First that they left out really very central important accounts. As a journalist you’re constantly reminded that you have to edit the material you have to tell the story as you understand it in the best way you can. But it’s unethical to ignore the central core ideas because they don’t suit your view – you wouldn’t cover a murder trial and leave out the verdict.

And second that the other gospels weren’t just left out, they were deleted – almost entirely - from history by what must have been a sustained campaign of suppression – and even though we know about them now, they’re not even mentioned by the practitioners of the church. This is bad. Very bad.

If Shakespeare had written a whole load of other plays that didn’t make it into his collected works – either because they weren’t good enough or for some other reason – we might not consider them in the same way as Hamlet – but we’d still publish them. We’d still study them. We’d still recognise them and allow them to help us gain an understanding of Shakespeare’s work.


Not including material in the Bible is one thing. Failing to even recognise or discuss material which you know exists and which has as much validity as that which is included in the Bible (and some of it more validity) is something else entirely.

These gospels are (or claim with as much evidence as any of the gospels) the story of the life of Christ – so can someone who isn’t familiar with this material call themselves a priest? Or even a practicing Christian?

I don’t think so.

Even though I’m not a Christian, In the interests of fairness, I thought I'd publish it.

unfortunately the gospel (or at least its only translation) is copyrighted! it's owned by the National Geographic.

here's a link

http://www.nationalgeographic.com/lostgospel/_pdf/GospelofJudas.pdf?fs=www7.nationalgeographic.com&fs=magma.nationalgeographic.com